I keep turning myself off of blogging.
whenever I try writing a post, I always feel as though a blog post has to be this big, professional, marketable thing; something easily sharable on reddit or hacker news or whatever. I get caught up on word choice and sentence structure; struggle to make sure the ideas in my head are "extra-legible".
in an age of social media, a blog sort of becomes professional by contrast.
this post is the opposite of that.
or- at least I'm trying to make it the opposite of that. :^)
ever since I'd started going to therapy, I realised I'd been putting way too much pressure on myself. I have a bad habit of setting stupidly high bars that I simultaneously never manage to hit, yet always hit my head on -- something I seem to only do for myself, never anyone else.
I've been trying to practice setting these bars a little lower, to suck a little more ass for fun and mental health. trying to weed out the pedantic perfectionist in me so I can have fun on the internet again.
it's a bit of a struggle to unlearn a lifetime of scolding myself for the flaws in everything I make. but I suppose the fact I can hit publish on this is proof some progress is being made, haha~ ~v~;
(hello, smol.pub)
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thanks for reading!! :3